'To the Lost Ones' by Jeremy Santiago

To The Lost Ones

“Baby girl, I can’t imagine what it’s like for you,

I got you pregnant now inside, there is a life in you”

See, when I was younger I had a different view,

I always said I would never let my girl get an abortion

Its 2018 and my mind is deep in torment

What should I do,

What should WE do,

“Now I ain't tryna pick a fight with you, I’m tryna talk

Now I ain't tryna spend the night with you

I’m kinda lost, see,

I’ve been giving it some thought lately and frankly—

I’m feelin’ like we ain't ready”

Girl, we was barely going steady

I feel like we were on a rocky ship

And now this shit hit and I swear I lost a hip

I can barely walk without thinking about you,

Shit..

I can barely breathe –

I’m only 19..

“I refuse to bring my boy or my girl in this world

When I ain't got shit to give ‘em

And I’m not with them niggas who be knocking girls up and skate out

So girl, you gotta think 'bout how the options weigh out

What's the way out?”

“She said, "Nigga, you got some nerve to come up to me talking about abortion

This my body nigga, so don't think you finna force shit

See I knew that this is how you act, so typical

Said you love me, oh, but now you flipping like reciprocals

It figures though, I shoulda known that you was just another nigga

No different from them other niggas”

And that’s when it hit me,

I’m different—

I’m not my father,

Got my momma pregnant at 16…

And bounced out of our lives like the dirty ‘lil frog he is

See, my momma thought he was a prince..

And all she had to do was give him a kiss.. And a Kid

And he would stick around..

But no..

His true colors showed

See, that just ain’t me

My mind started spinning..

I started to wonder how bad could it really be?

To really have a seed grow into something that I’ve always wanted to be

But it’s funny how life works

She calls me crying, talking about a miscarriage

Shittt…Right when I started thinking about marriage

Now we both gone on our separate ways…

“And I ain't too proud to tell y’all that I cry sometimes,

I cry sometimes about it”

(with Ekphrasis from J. Cole’s “Lost Ones”)