Swimming with the Sharks
7:03 – Babe I’m on my way, don’t take forever
7:05 – Almost ready
7:26- Here babe
7:28- I grab my purse and slip on my heels.
They clank on the stairs as I hurry to the car,
The cold air clinging to my straightened hair
And glossed lips
“You look beautiful tonight”
“Thank you,” I respond,
peering out the window
Act normal
He doesn’t know that you know
9:41- We walk out of the restaurant
hand in hand
I kiss his cheek,
He knows I want his body tonight
I grab the keys,
“I’ll drive” I tell him
9:43- We get in the car,
me in the driver’s seat,
him passenger.
I act like I’m starting the car,
But I toss the keys in the back
Take control,
He’ll like it
He’ll never expect it
9:44- I grab his shoulders and
force my mouth on his
licking, sucking, nibbling
rubbing my hands along his chest,
like I’m searching for his heart
If he had a heart, he wouldn’t have hurt you
9:46- I guide my hands down his body to his pants
he helps my hands quickly
unbutton
unzipper
take off
It’s dark now
There’s no one around,
There’s not much time
9:47- I dive in immediately,
straight to the deep end,
I want to touch the bottom
Of the pool on the first dive
He moans and grabs the back of my head
I decide to change it up,
Glide my tongue up and down, around
I climb up the ladder
And out of the pool for a second dive.
Grinning with my teeth,
I sink to the bottom
Like I’m going to show the floor of the pool my smile,
He’s wincing,
He likes the danger
It’s time
9:53- I sink my teeth in a little harder
he gasps
like he’s seen a shark
he tries to get out of the pool
but it’s sucking him in
“What the hell are you do- AHHH!”
My teeth touch,
I taste the blood on my tongue
I hear his screams and laugh.
9:54- I hold it up with one hand and grab his throat with the other
“How are you going to go diving with her if you don’t have a fin?”
Sticky
Sticky things get stuck
Like when I was little
And using that sticky Elmer’s glue stick that
Would just stick things together
Until they were stuck
But were they stuck?
Am I stuck?
Sometimes I feel stuck when I’m lying in my bed
Sticking to the sheets like my papier-mache project
I feel like I’m holding together, sticking to my bed and keeping my thoughts in a line of perfectly lain glue on construction paper
And then the glue dries…
Maybe I am just stuck-
Stuck in my head
in my thoughts
in my mistakes
In the same sticky routine.
Can you unstick?
And what about that time
When I was walking and saw
That guy I didn’t want to see and
He tried to
Flirt with me
and I got stuck
Because sticky situations are sticky and will stick you
Like glue until you’re stuck.
And when you’re stuck like that
Don’t you just want to stick yourself back in your sticky bed and get stuck?
Stuck is safe,
until the glue won’t hold anymore.
The Mother You Used to Be
It wasn’t until I was about eleven that I realized
She was different.
Yeah, I knew she was older than
the other mothers,
but my Mom Should have been there to do more.
Remember when we used to go camping?
“I can’t do that anymore.”
Remember when we spent hours hiking?
“I can’t even hike up the stairs.”
Remember when we would go window shopping together?
“That’s too much walking for me.”
All the girls at school are going on a trip with their mothers…
“You know I can’t do that.”
Remember when you were a mother to me?
When you taught me
To cook and clean and do the wash?
Remember when you
Took care of me?
Spent time with me?
“Can you help me clean the bathroom?”
“Can you get the phone for me?”
“Can you go to the store for me?”
“Can you get me an ice pack?”
“Can you give me a ride to the doctor?”
“Can you grab my walker?”
“Can you push my wheelchair?”
Can you be the mother you used to be?
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