Being in my Brother’s “Shadow”
Throughout my whole life, I have always been compared
or somewhat “lived” in my brother’s shadow.
I wish people can stop comparing me to him.
I wish I can stop being known as “so and so’s” sister.
In high school, my brother was top of his class,
straight A student,
always got honor roll.
I wasn’t the best student, but I
did get honor roll.
But that wasn’t good enough.
Sometimes my friends would leave me out of conversations.
I say hi when they walk through the front door, and that’s all I ever get
While everyone’s eating their food and talking to each other,
I’ll sit at the table
watching everyone laughing and having a wonderful time.
Listening to the sounds of my friends’ laughter, as my brother starts to tell stories about how Post Malone helped him through his first break-up
Or when a girl from our old high school marching band confessed her love for him
As I sit there and watch,
I try not to be upset
I try not to make it a big deal
I try not to say anything at all
because they’re my friends.
But…
I wonder if my friends like my brother more than me.
I wonder if they notice that I’m being pushed aside
Why don’t I get asked to hang out
or get asked how I’m doing?
Do my friends even like me?
Do they even notice I’m there?
I wish they knew I liked the same things
I wish they wouldn’t leave me out of conversations
I wish they payed attention to me
I’m tired of trying.
I give up
Not because I don’t care,
but because they don’t.
My name is Bethany Logronio. I’m a junior at Bloomfield College studying Psychology. I am a socially awkward person who likes to write blog posts and bake in her free time. I’m usually not a big fan of writing, however, that changed when I took Creative Writing last semester, with Paul LaTorre. Creative Writing changed my perspective. It gives me a medium for self-expression.
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